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Resistance

Kristina

For the past 2 weeks, I’ve been feeling stuck in life. I’ve lacked the motivation to do many tasks and have reverted to do things that take less than 5 seconds to do. It feels like there’s a gray 500-pound cloud that’s sitting on top of my forehead. I just feel… off. Even taking the time to write my thoughts down on paper seems to be too much of an effort lately. This has led to a lot of procrastination and wasting time on other things (hello mobile gaming).

I heard someone say procrastination is resistance to change, and I can see that. Lately I’ve been dealing with tons of resistance at home, work, and myself. I’ve let resistance keep me from doing more, which also left me stuck. As I lay in bed getting over my second cold of the season, I wonder why have I resisting so much if I feel stuck. The thing is that feeling stuck and resistance are two connecting and yet separate notions.

Resistance to change can be very strong, especially if you’re dealing with anxiety and a large crippling fear of failure like me. In the end, I can still live if I’m stuck and feeling resistance. But resistance will keep me stuck if I keep letting it affect my actions. I can’t un-stuck myself if I don’t chip away at this wall.

Resistance has become a defense mechanism in my life. It’s much easier to refuse to say/do something that makes me uncomfortable or strikes fear. It’s comforting, and nearly empowering, for me to say no to things I don’t want to deal with. That’s not growth, however, and that’s what contributes to staying stuck.

There are ways to figure out how to handle resistance, but I feel that it doesn’t help in addressing the reason for it. Think the main issue is handling why the resistance is there because after figuring out why it’s there is the fastest way on how to handle it. Once the why is solved the how flows naturally.

For me, resistance has been a big part of my life. For me to reduce its effect is to see why do I have it. This problem may take a while to resolve. But I know it’s key to helping me become unstuck.

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